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nadeshikofan

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Goodbye

3 min read
I suppose I owe a more... proper explanation than "I'm sorry" in a journal entry when I'm leaving deviantart in my tired state of mind. Hell, I don't know why I'm even checking in here when I told myself that I'm quitting a lot of things. Maybe because I'm curious on how many of you knew that this was coming, or to see who would outright notice right away. It doesn't matter anymore.

Sorry for the sudden decision to leave; I'm sure that many of you are downright pissed (or pretty concerned) at me right now.

First off, yes, I am leaving deviantart. For those of you that know I have major depression, no, I am not committing suicide despite the fascinating idea of death (shush I find it to be a fascinating concept okay), so rest assured I'm not going to kill myself. Well, not physically, anyways. I don't know if I'll actually come back, hell, I don't know if I would want to? Even if I have so many awesome friends here, I have to focus on my issues irl. Sometimes you want to hang in there, other times you want to give up. Regardless of the decision made it's always a win-lose situation no matter what. It's okay to cry when you have to say goodbye, but I'm not trying to say goodbye, but all in all, it's unlikely when I will be back, if I ever do come back. So for now, just label me off as a lost cause or whatever.

Secondly, before I leave deviantart, I've left all of my RP groups, both private and non-private groups including the groups that I should've left a long time ago. Then, after doing that I made a new Skype account for me and have moved over there before I went to sleep yesterday.

Third, Yes, I've gotten a private Skype that's more for me to stay in contact with friends in school and more personal matters whereas my public Skype that everyone knows is for whoever decides to add me and etc. If I haven't responded to you on my Skype, then that's probably why you haven't received a response and might never get one.

Fourth, there's a reason why I haven't deactivated this account on deviantart. I want to be able to still access my old sta.sh files, particularly my stories.

I hope that explains a bit on what's going on. I'm going to try and focus on my studies like I said I was and deviantart is a distraction because of how much I throw myself into plenty of things, not to mention that I also want to have less of an emotional breakdown.

I might not give my personal Skype to anyone on here at all. I don't want that account to be added to any group chat nor do I want a repeat of what happened with nadeshikofan on Skype, despite still keeping that account around. I don't want to hear the constant beeps, see the onslaught of messages that overwhelm me and make it difficult for me to breathe, to cover my eyes and put myself on 'do not disturb' when I want to be disturbed, to try and say something but feel as though my words have no impact and then fade out of the conversation and into my solitude and just cry over nothing.

Hope you all have a wonderful day. See ya.
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Returning to school tomorrow haha what better way to cry over it if not taking a "Which Undertale Character Are You?" Meme--//smacked

Truthfully this is more or less having to do with the fact that I'm just- really tired of a lot of things; I might make a rant post later but who knows //shrUGS//

Stole it from BedCrows 

Frisk (Pacifist)
[x] You care deeply about others.
[x] You can easily forgive people.
[x] You are constantly nice to everyone around you.
[/] You're a very social person.
[ ] You are DETERMINED.
[x] You like Cinnamon and/or Butterscotch.
[x] Weapons are not your thing.
[ ] You like the aspect of time-travel.
[ ] You hate flowers, especially talking ones. 
[/] You hate having to do bad things.
Total: 6

Frisk (Genocide)
[x] You don't care at all about others.
[ ] You show no mercy.
[ ] You are constantly mean to everyone around you.
[x] You're a shut-in.
[ ] You are DETERMINED.
[/] You like demons. 
[ ] Weapons are totally your thing. 
[ ] You like the aspect of time-travel.
[/] You hate flowers, but you can respect them.
[/] You love to do bad things.
Total: 3.5

Flowey
[ ] You are kind of a freaking jerk. 
[x] You have dark views of the world 
[/] You look pretty cute, but you are actually ruthless and will hurt someone if necessary.
[x] You sometimes don't understand people's emotions. 
[ ] You like making people feel guilty. 
[ ] You enjoy hanging out in caves.
[x] You like to surprise people.
[ ] You like to have power. All the power.
[/] You'll do anything to get on top.
[x] You tend to disturb people.
Total: 5

Toriel
[ ] You are a talented cook.
[x] You are willing to give up anything to save a few simple souls.
[ ] You live near or in a cave.
[x] You have a fascination in magic.
[/] Fighting isn't your thing, but if you wanted to, you could really hurt someone.  
[/] You are incredibly over-protective.
[x] You underestimate people sometimes.  
[ ] You'd make a great caretaker.
[x] You tend to not be an active force, but rather a passive.
[x] You like to give knowledge.
Total: 6

Sans
[ ] You're a prankster.
[x] You enjoy bad puns.
[x] You care deeply about your family, even if you don't always show it.
[x] You're always willing to help those in need.
[x] You're a bit of a slacker.
[x] You're fascinated by time lines, multiple universes, things like that.
[ ] You can go from lovable to badass in nearly a second. 
[ ] You work a lot of jobs.
[ ] The place you normally take people to meet up is a restaurant.
[x] You know more than you let on.
Total: 6

Papyrus
[/] You enjoy cooking.
[ ] You think you're pretty freaking awesome, but in all honesty, you're not.
[ ] You strive for greatness.
[x] You don't have very high standards.
[ ] You tend to yell a lot.
[ ] You put work in front of others.
[/] You get angry when things aren't being accomplished.
[/] You are not very observant.
[x] You hope to achieve respect.
[x] You are inexperienced at dating.
Total: 4.5

Undyne
[ ] You have a lot of power.
[ ] You believe heavily in justice.
[x] You're the type to hold a grudge.
[ ] You are a skilled fighter.
[ ] You are extremely confident.
[ ] People look up to you.
[/] You think spears are cool.
[x] You put your friends before anything else.
[/] You can be a nice person, if whoever you're with is on your good side.
[x] You're reasonably determined.
Total: 4

Alphys
[/] You like science.
[/] You have a skill for creating things.
[x] You are obsessed with another culture. 
[ ] You are a bit of a shut-in, not because you want to be.
[/] You s-stutter a, um, lot.
[x] You like anime.  
[x] You have a bit of a low self-esteem. 
[x] You'll do anything for a friend.
[ ] You are fascinated by time travel.
[/] You have some secret crushes. 
Total: 6

Asgore
[x] You don't want to hurt anyone or anything.
[/] You sometimes let your rage block out your judgment.
[ ] You enjoy gardening.
[x] Your family does not have the best relationship.
[/] You are willing to fight for the people you love and care about.
[/] You've lost multiple loved ones.
[ ] You're strong, even if you don't use your strength to much.
[x] You tend to be pretty quiet.
[ ] if you want to, you can look totally awesome.
[ ] People tend to look up to you as a leader.
Total: 4

Tbh I thought I would be Sans or the Pacifist Frisk, and surprise, surprise, I'm both lololol
I'm a very punny pacifist ok, probably worse puns than Sans (his puns are beautiful with grace and I'm as graceful as a violent swan lmao) and if that's true I'm cry 'cause but I'd love it 'cause of the puns--

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Shipping

3 min read
Long story short: "Dunno why now of all times, but I'm gonna be giving up on shipping (unless it's canon) and won't comment on it when it pops up (unless I'm asked about it). So I'm pretty much going to be killing my shipper heart."



Okay, so we all know I love shipping, and we all know I have my own personal boundaries when it comes to shipping.

I'm not sure why I'm making this decision now of all times, but from now on I will no longer be talking about shipping unless it's canon (or unless I am asked about it personally). Even though I feel like I'm being ignored at times, I've realized that me talking about shipping is unnecessary when I can just focus on regular headcanons (i.e HC: Liliya looks exactly like her deceased mother).

Truthfully, talking about shipping makes me pretty happy, and I do ship a lot of things one-sidedly especially. However, shipping only makes me feel miserable because none of my favorite OCs are in a canon ship, and no, I'm not flat out asking to start a ship with them because I want to actually give it some time, I want the idea to come into mind after a few weeks of RPing and think, "this might actually work out..." when it can go one way or another way really quickly.

Therefore, I will be on the pessimistic side of things and ignore the potential of my OCs being in a ship and will essentially be in the mindset of "they won't have a romantic sense of love" unless I need to use it as a distraction.

This will probably hurt me for a short while due to the fact that I take shipping to the point that it gets far too personal, but this will be beneficial in the fact that I won't have high hopes for a ship only to have my hopes crushed.

I probably sound like I'm whining about my OCs not being paired up in a more serious sense, maybe I am sulking about it, or maybe I feel disgusted at myself because of how much I love shipping. Maybe I just want my OCs to have a happier end then me, or someone to actually be there for them because I can't bring myself to help them back up on their feet. Sometimes I want them to fall down with me, to be miserable and isolated, but I can't so I do that in my Lisle Holow story.

Who knows what I even want, because I clearly don't. At this point, I just want to kill off my shipper heart.
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I'm having problems and I know it's with my laptop. There are random moments when I just- can't type anymore until it unfreezes? I guess. I can't look at my messages (only my deviations and even then it won't load), not even my notes, I can't even respond or leave any comments either for that matter. This problem is happening to dA, for the most part. The only way for me to actually respond would be if I respond using my phone (after checking the messages because like I said, I can't see shit on my laptop). Dunno why this is happening only on dA, at least I can still sort of access sta.sh; firefox for some weird reason doesn't let me use sta.sh at all.

I'll probably respond to comments on my phone when I get the chance to in class haha... 8'D
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Stole this from Soda-Snuggles

Because I wanted to see who knows my taste in music well enough or not pff--
This is also for me to get my Headcanons out there rather than stuck in my head so I'll only use the lyrics that fit my HCs--//slapped

1) Put your music player on shuffle.
2) Post the first line from the first 10 songs on that play.
3) Strike through the lines when someone guesses both artist and track correctly or pull them off your list.
4) Looking them up on Google or any other search engine is CHEATING!
5) If you like the game, then repost!

The person who acquires the most points from this wins!
Alright, so I'm gonna change some things around a lil' bit.

For Rule #2, I'll use two or more lines instead of one. And I'll be giving a huge hint. Or not. Really depends. Because I honestly do want you guys to guess and the fact that it's just one line? That's going to make it all the more difficult imho.

For Rule #3, just guess the name of the song and the artist and we're all good. [[I don't know the names of the tracks except for a few songs pff]]

For Winners/Guessers
It'll be decided randomly in all honesty, but probably something like this
[D-C] Special Event: Animation by nadeshikofan [ADM] Cafe AUs Like Srsly- by nadeshikofan
It'll depend on how I'm feeling tbh... //and I'll be a little slow, probably//
They won't be colored (except for small details as shown in the middle).

No, of course I don't expect them ALL to be answered.

How to win something: Get 1 of the 10 songs correct.
What do you win? 1 Drawing. That's it. Might be headshot, maybe it'll be a fullbody or a colored headshot. I don't know it's random.
How many winners will you choose? Does it matter?
Time limit: For now, it'll be a week.

Scores So Far
N/A

1. 「Long time ago I fell for you, but we had so much more to do. It took a while to synchronize, but now we're locked it makes me...」
    🌟 This song is named after an actual place and it made me think of Kat and an NPC I have named Gavin that's in the same year as her and is a Slytherin... ouo; 🌟

2. 「"Don't you think we've had enough?" "Funny you would bring it up!" "Oh, I knew you were a (****)!" "Isn't it time that we broke up?"」
    🌟 This is a vocaloid cover and a duet. 🌟

3. Teenage Dirtbag by Wheatus (Cover) guessed by IsisReditum
「This must be fake; my lip starts to shake. How does she know who I am? And why does she give a damn about me...?
    🌟 I love this song. Hearing a girl cover this with a piano's hella nice too www 🌟

4. 「I could never promise I won't let you down. I won't give my word, you won't get hurt.
    🌟 This song screams 'Callysta Headcanons' at me. I wouldn't be surprised if no one knew this song ahahahaaaa... 🌟

5. 「I'm not quite myself these days... Guess we all come undone time to time in different ways.
    🌟 This is my favorite band in all honesty, although this song kinda screams Callie at me too... |'D 🌟

6. 「What would you do if I told you that I la, la, la, la, loved you? Do if I said it tonight? What would you do if I told you that I la, la, la, la, loved you? Cause you know I la, la, la, lie.
    🌟 Someone showed me a song that led me to this one haha... this kinda screams 'Callie' at me again pff. 🌟

7. 「Some say it's ignorance; it makes me feel some innocence. It takes away a part of me but I won't let go.
    🌟 Same band as #5! ouo 🌟

8. Take to the sky, we can say goodbye. The solitude can see me fly. A feeling ignites, it's burning up inside: it must be a sign.
    🌟 Okay so I've actually been listening to a Draper Remix of this song and I now feel dumb because I thought Draper was the singer when it wasn't pff. 🌟

9. San Francisco by the Mowgli's guessed by TMKaleidoscope
「I've been in love with love and the idea of something binding us together, you know that love is strong enough.」
    🌟 //shrugs// What can I say? The song's honestly catchy and I loved the video. 🌟

10. 「She had a laugh without tears. She could speak without fears. She was brave, she was strong.」
    🌟 This is a vocaloid cover and I once wrote a songfic using this song. 🌟

Guess that's it! Doubt anyone's gonna comment though pff.
~ Chrissy <3
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Featured

Goodbye by nadeshikofan, journal

[Meme] Undertale Character by nadeshikofan, journal

Shipping by nadeshikofan, journal

GDI - Laptop Problems by nadeshikofan, journal

[Meme] Guess That Song by nadeshikofan, journal